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Footnotes: See the pencil sketch here. OK, so thats that. I should still really go over and add shadow, I did think about cloud shadow and sunlight, but to be quite honest I'm so glad to have finished it that I really cant bear to look at it any more. I must say, that landscape was the most agonising and boring thing I have ever done in my life. Drawing needs to be fun, dynamic, intuitive, but filling in 10,000 polygons is not fun, its bloody boring and theres nothing creative about the process, its just dull dull dull. The whole point of this story is to take the reader through an adventure into a a moment of this girls life. I have always been fascinated by looking out of train windows and gazing at all the houses and the lights and wondering how many of those rooms out there in the world contained girls that would be ideal for me. Thats why the last panel zooms out to such a degree. I think the rooming out from being inside that little room is important, to put it all into perspective, and to perhaps induldge in the fantasy that she is real and she is out there and she is waiting? Looking out of her window, for one one? Maybe shes waiting for you? THats something that always grieves me, a girl waiting for me, or not, and tht girls are always having sex and waiting for guys, but not me. Out there is a girl waiting for her guy, longing, but no one longs for me, no one gives a shit, and this is what this story is about really. I know its not done that well, I think the colour has overridden my intentions, but the gist is there. Shes ina room, someplace, somewhere, waiting, watching hoping, anticipating, behind some curtain somewhere. I called it Windsor because thats basically where I live. I go into Windsor all the time and theres loads of nice girls there, but I cant seem to meet any of them, but I see them scurry around, going into their little homes like hamsters, and I can only imagine the wamth of those homes, having a girl bring me a coffee while I sit on her sofa, chit chatting, having a regular friend thats a girl that I could call on if I was bored. I know i'm too old for all that now, but i'm more aware than ever as to how it should have been as I was growing up. I should have had friends, but I didn't. I should have had a girl excited to see me but I didn't. I remember reading a Kurt Zoneguet story that deals with exactly the same issue, theres this guy, he quite old, and hes reflecting on how when he was a kid no one ever called on him, no one ever threw stones up at his window to see if he was in and there was a guy that was mean to him, I forget what but hes reflecting on his lost/stolen childhood and decides to travel 1000 miles to kill that guy and throw some stones at his window. I dont remember the exact order, but the guy still lives there and he goes up to his door, knocks and when he awnsers he just asks something and walks away, like the bitterness has gone. He has a gun, so he could have done it, and then he goes to his old house and throws some stones up at his window and then goes back home. This is like that really. Only I really dont like howits done the colour is just freaking me out, its sooooo technicolour. Still, thats that.I think I might work on it later, maybe after a month, try to make it more noir, but i'm also reaching a stage where i'm not happy with my art in that I can see how other people draw girls so much better than me and how I can integrate more techniques that will make by girls perfect, or at least better, they still look wooden. However, I~ do think that a bit of me is in them girls, and thats the dead me. I dont think I could do a happy, funny dailey comic with girls in it as I just dont find anything in life that funny really. I dont think i'm twisted and bitter, i'm just fucked. Its like I have hundreds of woulds and everythings a sore point, like if I did a strip I would soon wind up with some inner turmoil, an unresolved personal issue, especially when introducing any other character other than me and the generic girl. But I really want to start excelling with my art. I dont thik its worth doing if I dont excel, but its so hard to find the inclination to truly spend more time than I am comfortable with. Thats why the black and white stuff is better for me because I can get involved, its dynamic, I can sit there and swish the bruch to get that final effect, but the final effect in colour is achieved on the pc and its difficult to achieve if you have to zoom in and out and worry how a colour will look on another pc.
In short I am initially disapointed with this strip, but i'm also impressed by the power of the colour. I really feel its a stronger strip in colour, just its stronger saying the wrong things.