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Footnotes: Not that I planned it this way, but this piece right at the last moment, well the very early hours of 30 December 2007 means that I at least produced a page for my comic in 2007. I started it on the night of the 28 December and spent about 6 hours on it and today spent another 9 hours so it took about 15 hours. Whats there to say? I have had this idea a long time ago, a natural extension from Coutisan, Kent and other such stories. Basically its another silence one thats supposed to be based on the nuance and substance of the imagry. I know my arts not that 'dynamic', in that its mostly set in rigid boxes etc, but I still feel it has some power behind it all, and its that power that I want to drive the story forward. As ever, I really had no idea how I was goint to approach this. I know the full story, or the idea, but I have done no story board or such, I just sat there and thought, hhhmmm so, to begin, whats the beginning and end of the first page, wheres the dynamics of that and how do I get from A to B. The basis of the first page is that the guy gets to the house. So I had to show him getting there. Not that I put much thought into it, but I had to decide how best to show the motion of travel. At first I drew two panels at the top, but then I decided to draw 4 to demonstrate rapid motion, but that hurt as it meant I had to draw 4 very similar images that somehow varied. However, I was up to the challenge and elected to change the perspective as he walked, this would demonstrate that he wasn't standing still, what I was afrais of. But because I was too lazy to research completey different building designs I decided to show house numbers. I think in retrospect they are too big, but they show that he was both moving, AND moving from presumably one street to another, therefore assuming a fair amount of walking. I did want the houses to look different, but I did want them to all look suburban, ie, I didn't want to show a factory, office, shop etc etc. I could have gone a bit further but I think I did well enough. This scene struck me as remeniscent of the opening scenes in A call To Arms which I referenced mentally.

Because I might never get round to the next page i'll tell you the story. Essentially its a Ho-Tel. Someone said that once on MySpace. I'll meet you at the Ho-Tel. The way she said it left no ambiguity as to what that was. However, that was actually after I had thought of this story, so thats just where the title came from. Essentially I wanted to do something like Kent and Courtisan, but set in a scenario that was easier to relate to. Essentially is based on student accomodation in Newcastle. I think that university girls are at their best at university. I can remember leafy autumns walking around and you could see houses and girls going in and out of them and they felt warm. Student Girls always seem cute in a very semi erotic and raunchy style, hot. It was just this notion that I had that they could easily be whores. Everyone would cant some of that, and this is a story about how it works. Or rather an erotic adventure into that idea and concept.

But more interestingly its got me thinking about the legality of prostitution, which is essentially illegal in England, that is if there is more than one woman doing it. Apparently you can do it if your the only women in the house doing it which strikes me as pretty dangerous. So this is also really a reflection on something that could be. Obviously it would be far more dangerous in reality because of idoits, but in an ideal world this would be almost perfect. I know they have these types of brothels overseas, but I think and imagine that they all have 'security'. All it would take is for a punter to decide that he wanted it for free and there would be trouble.

Anyway. Thats essentially what this story is about. I wont go into exactly how I want to play the next three pages but theres not much to imagine. Only thing to say is that I dont think I want it to be explicit. I think in comparison I certainly want it less explicit than this page from Gold Rush, which I think was both not that well done really and attempts to show too much. I want the action to me more subliminal, maybe alot of the before and after. I dont know yet. Its difficult for more because I want to achieve a momentum that requires exacting timelines and screenplay and I dont really want to put that much time into it, essentially the next time I really think it through will be the next time I put pen to paper. So come back in a few years and see what happens.

Oh yeah, just want to say that i'm pretty happy with the way that the girl turned out. I like the way that she opens the door with a smile like shes happy to see him. I think that thats an important point really. For me I never really had any friends, you know like girls that I could call on, and it seems like cute girls never smile at me. In fact I never get to see them, the nearest I come to them is when I go to the pub and they are the bar maid or something. So thats another thing in my mind, the way she is happy to see him. Its an important point because its got little to do with him having friends, moreover its the fact that he has a friend that is cute and desirable. I think England is an evil country and people are forced to take the company of retarded ugly people and not grumble. I can remember working at that shitty company Harte Hanks and saying to the manager that the person I was forced to work with was a retard and could hardly speak English, AND they were an English national.The manager said, no, how rude, hes not a retard. But of course he was, thats why he could hardly communicate. But in those environments, like the country as a whole, we are forced to accept a politically correct policy of equal opportunities and diversity. I call it forced integration. They force you to work with ugly people and if you dont socialise with them then you are a 'bad' person. When in fact I think we should all have the right to call the shots on who we deal with. Therefore, this guy is going to a brothel, that magically exists, thats populated by actually attractive girls, not a politically correct ethnically sensitive cross selection, and they are smiling at him. I thin k the smiling point boils down to the fact that all I ever really got from cute girls in England were scowls. And really, i'm not a monster for preffering cute girls. But I got scowls like I was thinking out of my social level, but that was wrong. And I say why because the cute girls companies employ are all 'vetted' to be compliant. If they want to get ahead they have to tow the company line. I think if you look outside the box like on Myspace or darker areas of our socirty you'll find that the truth is that most girls with the power of beauty do not decieve you and understand the basics of equality. Doesn't mean they fancy you, and doesn't mean your a winner when your a looser, but the basic foundation of man is set in their genetics, not what the managers dictate.

Its like 'succesful' men are only strong and powerful because the girl is already with them. They did something to meet that person, and that was that. Personally I feel challenged by happy couples like i'm supposed to defeat the man and take the woman, and its virtually impossible because the girl doesn't want to change. My point here really is that lonlyness and sadness is more a condition of circumstance than standing. And in this comic there is a fundemental route that takes the lonley man to the a place that would otherwise be gaurded by force and bad will, and that place is a girl that smiles warmly, takes you in and sucks your dick.

Its as simple as that. Obviously my story is slightly more romantic than reality as this sort of scenario would be very difficuly to achieve unless you knew the girls in the first place, which would be a paradox because if you knew them then you would'nt be a looser, so it wouldn't count.

But what this adventure is really all about is an exploration of the softness, kindness and grace of young girls in their sexual 'prime', depending on your perspective. As a big fat looser all I can do is imagine, but thats what I do, all the time, and I build up this concept and idea of what a girls environment would be like, partly from observed experience, but also from the internet and my imagination and inference on thought. I think that people that consider sexual union as being just that, intercourse are missing alot of the real value. To me, the sexual union starts from the mind, even if its imaginery, but if to people meet, it starts with every interaction, so for a man just to be in a girls environment, her house, her space, her room, is a very intimate act and is part of the overall picture. If you manage to fuck then it lasts how long? 10 minutes? an hour? You stay the night? The act in my minds eye less relevent than the fusion of the two minds. And its that aspect that I ponder.

I think all this comes from not having got any. From complete absense I have evolved a persception that places alot more value on the mundane. Whilst its not a recurring 'fantasy', I can remember vividly trying to imagine what would happen if a girl came into my world, I tried to imagine her cardigan casually placed on the sofa. I thought about that, a lambs wool cardigan that was soft and smalt of girl. I thought about how it would cut straight through the crudness of my own world and life. And I thought about how that has never happened. So when this guy goes into this Ho-Tel he is entering a world of these strange things, strange textures, smell, and more importantly, a wolrd or place full of the chemical signals that girls give off. and its all that stuff, the chemistry, the 'chemical signals', that I want to capture in my line work and the subtly of my subliminal reference and perspective. Thats why I say its so hard to do, and it is, but I think I got partly there in Kent and in Courtisan and ther stories. And all that said, blatent sex spoils it all. Although for some reason i think the use of the term 'fucking' actually complenents this subtle mosaic that I want to create. Its not supposed to be crude, but to extract the very purpose of the events, from subtlty to fucking, and then back. I think this works because sex or fucking is an 'explosive' act in its own right, so you integrate fucking seems appropriate but to not show it directly or half covered. So doing that is going to be a challenge that again, i'll probably figure out 5 minutes before I start to draw it. Anyway got to go so think on that and i'll chat again later.