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Footnote: This was originally meant to be a four page story, I sort of started it and then left it as pencils for a first page. I wanted to delve into how crap it is to be alone but I dont sort of want to focus too much on that right now really. I guess what I would have gone on to talk about is how vunerable a single man is and how society and the system take advantage of that. I think theres a preconception that a man should be strong, especially a man like Mr Galumph, that in his prime and youth he is not vunerable and is OK alone, but really, I see it as almost more vunerable than a woman alone because at least a women alone will get the unconcious support of any males nearby. A man alone can get beaten up and no one gives a shit .In the work place, employers take advantage of this, they fuck about with their secretaries even though they have wifes and all sorts. I cant think of any examples but life is full of people trying to get one up on other people and the sex/relationship/love handle is key to keeping people low. Constantly attacking your confidence. But thats all irrelevent. As I said in the second panel, it doesn't matter why hes alone or if its avoidable, the point is hes alone and essentially has no voice, cannot express himself. As i get older I see other people alone in society and I can see the vultures and tyrants that feed off of their souls and its not nessessary, and they are not helping them. For example an employer that has two rooms, one with a bloke working alone and another with a girl working alone, and for the good of them he should put them together, but he doesn't because he doesn't want to face an equal, he wants to face two workers. And the key is that as a society we rely in our youth for the grown ups or the employers to help us get it together, but in my experience they dont, they hinder everything, but now the intetrnet is here so hopefully things will change. Anyway, alone the guy has no voice and so he only has the thoughts in his mind. If he was with a girl they could talk and escape the inferno of shit that breeds from the pits of empty desolate silence. they could go out, crack jokes, but that doesn't happen to a bloke alone, in fact nothing happens. And really its just an endless train of nightmares populated by your enemies.
So the guy is in the kitchen. I tried to sort of follow they way it is. I dunno, I dont sit still so much now, but years ago I would get a coffee and think about my lonely state and if I got really depressed I would maybe sit on the stairs, sit on the floor, or sit somplace, I dont know why this is, but I think you sort of go into a kind of daze and wonder around, your lost in your mind and so you come to rest in the strangest places, like the kitchen floor, and you sort of look at things, like the washing machine. Its incidental, but I guess what i'm getting at is that this is seriously wrong, and if your doing this then you should know there is something seriously wrong. No one should be alone in this modern world. But its easy to sort of say, hey, it was a sunday and it was rainy and I was lazy, yeah, theres loads of excuses. But being alone with no friends is terrible, and its even worse to look back on, painful.
So, might as well be dead? Yeah, I think there comes a time in life when you have to value your worth and if you are worthless then you are a detriment to those of worth that are in need of your resources. People with families always claim to be in need, oh yeah, people with families need houses and work, but you as a single person dont, but those nice families were subliminally responsible for your solitude. Of course not directly and not in all instances, but indirectly they say shit like, oh well we all started off with the same chances. Fair enough argument, but if the dice were swayed by a gestapho like society that projected the butchering thieves to where the girls were ungaurded whilst you were left to buff the floor at the supermarket each morning then its a different story.
Society is a complex organism, and there are no rules but you can make observations. In this story I have tried to convey some of the horror of being alone. Its hard because unless your suffering from it there and then it doesn't really carry any weight. Its like, well, thats all a load of bullshit. But when you sort of see, afresh, from a great height the significance of your solitude, lonlyness and troubles, then this story hopefully will put pictures and words to the thoughts that you cannot describe. What I have left out are the reasons, and I believe that society creates misery so that there will always be a slave class.
A bit more about it all. a man alone cannot go down to the pub and have a conversation under his own control, he has to beg or steal company under his own wyles, thats different. He cannot modify his own environmnet through conversation with a trusted partner. He cannot take his children to school and meet other families. Other families who have the power of freedom dont like single men as they are obviously terrorists. Fuck, its totally screwed if your alone, Its a long slow death sentence.
Also, there are so many things a man alone does not know, cannot appreciate. He just cannot imagine the wonder of waking up to see another person breathing, he cannot imagine the touch of a girl, he cannot see how the world looks from the perspective of a couple, and he doesn't know why he is so weak as a result. Being a couple affords you spritual stregth, inspiration and reason. Obviously solitude is a downward spiral in comparisn.
Anyway, thats page 40 of Issue 22 of Galumph. I feel like a ship that has won a race in record time but is so crippled from the effort I can only just get across the finish line, I have zero energy. As with all things, I dont see this as a major victory, its nice, but drawing is a placebo to me, something to pass the time. Each year, or each time I reflect I ask myself, so, this time last year I was single, and i'm single now. Nothing has changed. That is the only change that would count in my opinion.
The next 40 pages will be better. The next story is going to be called 'Please Shoot Me' which is not going to be as depressing as it sounds. I dont want to say too much about it now, but its essentially about a bloke that lives in a world where his thoughts are more vivid than his immediate reality, where he imagines he is surrounded by young girls, and its all about his interation with those girls. Its going to be a sort of erotic adventure into mental illness.